Little notes to self:
– You’re done with complaints and cryin’. Of course writing’s hard and you have no time for it.. you think you have no time for it. Time to switch it into gear and make your fake-fiction-impossible possible. People do it all the time.
Rememeber what it was to live without it. Death. Limbo. Functioning on automatic without Joy, Taste. Senselesss, literally. Take your pick. You were tongue-tied for months, couldn’t speak and second-guessed yourself, your creativity dried up, and was nothing more than a yes-man follower. The Agenda of The Other was easier to follow because you chose the easy way and got used to fluff. All because you quit for awhile. Never do that again.
Rememeber what it was to wake up. You started with sentences like you did years ago, but the cork popped and you were extending paragraphs past into pages. You became decisive overnight and stopped putting up with injustice, stood up for the little guy. Again. And again. God! You guided others! You saw how they looked at you — they were asking through their expressions, “Where have you been?”
You can’t ask for anything more than that in life — Life!! Where fully authentic You gets to fully authentically love and appreciate. When you met with herself and saw you on the page, you saw them. Bright, muddled, wandering, full of arrogance, it didn’t matter.. you want to meet and touch then all, for them, not for you. Rememebr this. Do not let it die. Do not, ever, die the living death — again.
– As for this blogging business, what are you worried about? You’ve fallen in love with the people before, in the flesh. You’re doing that now. You’re older now. Why do you even count that as a fear? It’s so fun! Live the Joy! Their Joy!
You don’t know what you’ll write? Does everyone? Every moment? And so what if you don’t? Is it judgment you have a problem with? But that’s judging other people first — is that even fair? Some days will come, others you’ll have to strategize and work for. You’re already getting a sense of what you can do and you don’t want to discount growth. Don’t even think if it, Veronica!
Do you remember when you wanted to be a saint? And all those pages of perfection written by someone who saw mankind through someone else’s eyes, but not God’s? You threw up your hands and told him take care of it for you, because you were done constantly thinking saintly hoo-rah. You were going to love and that was it. When has that ever failed you? It’s the same with you writing. Love and trust, yourself and others.
You know what you’re doing — now, behave!
I love you!
This is for the 2017 A to Z Challenge – a series of alphabetized themes throughout April, based on a theme.
My theme is my writing identity, self-discovery, learning to blog (again) — take your pick!
Visit the A to Z Challenge website to learn more. It’s never to late (I think!